Please read this
- ladieswhocrunch
- Jun 30
- 2 min read
This is a thorny topic. However, as a woman in her thirties who isn't currently trying to have a baby, but is surrounded by some very close friends who are, this is an issue on my radar on a pretty much daily basis.
And I've had enough of hearing stories about people's breathtaking lack of EQ.
Let's start with the obvious, non-contested point:
Battling fertility issues when you're desperate to become a mother is brutal.
The painful disappointments, the draining medical interventions, the loneliness of avoiding social situations that require you to celebrate someone else's pregnancy success when you've just had a miscarriage...
Muting the WhatsApp groups filled with well-intentioned baby videos to "cheer up everyone's Monday".
Or sitting next to someone at a wedding who spends the entire meal moaning about how exhausting it is having kids and saying things like "gosh I'd do anything to have a free weekend like yours!"
For lots of the women I know who are navigating this, their workplace represents respite. In a time of personal pain, work can be a balm of routine, formality and control.
I say this politely, but this is a reminder that some colleagues...
don't want to see a 20 week scan on Slack
don't need to hear a detailed breakdown of a child's birthday party logistics, whilst they wait to use the coffee machine
shouldn't be given the task of organising the baby shower gift for another member of the team
This isn't callousness. This isn't saying don't share your personal life. And absolutely, there are moments when bringing your family into the office is beneficial (I wrote about this a few weeks ago).
But it's a reminder to be sensitive and selective about who is at the other end of that conversation.
The weight that these women are carrying every day is heavy. Let's give them space to put that burden down for a few hours, when they come to work.
NB xx
ps. read this and don't agree? I'd love to hear your perspective; feel free to hit reply.
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